Unforgivable Sinner
by Cosmic Angel
Summary: Rated for suicide theme, but not descriptive so as to be 'R'. Songfic to Lene Marlin's 'Unforgivable Sinner'


My second attempt at angst. This is a songfic to Lene Marlin's Unforgivable Sinner. It helps if you listen to it ^_^ I don't own the song or the characters.

~          *           ~

The scream came early in the morning. By that afternoon, the body had been taken away, a sort of numbness falling over the usually cheerful house. Even the ghoul in the attic was quiet. Her family and friends sat, unmoving, for hours, still in denial, still hoping she would walk through the door.

No one knew why she would kill herself. All she left was a small note, with some cryptic Muggle song words on. Her friends had spent hours questioning people, trying to find out why she would do this. Only one person knew, and he wasn't telling.

_Kinda lose your sense of time  
'Cause the days don't matter no more  
All the feelings that you hide  
Gonna tear you up inside  
You hope she knows you tried_

He turned the last words she had spoken to him over in her head. _"I know you tried, I know you really did. So, thank you, I guess, for making me happy before I go."_

He had thought she was going away to University. It had never crossed his mind that she had meant like this. They had been dating for two years, and she had always seemed so calm, so in control of her life. She would never do something like this. He had tried to make her happy, he had tried to love her the way she wanted. But, he just couldn't bring himself to tell her how much she meant to him. She wanted commitment, but he wasn't ready, and so he broke it off. She was the most important person in his life, and he had driven her to an early grave.

_  
  
Follows you around all day  
And you wake up soaking wet  
'Cause between this world and eternity  
There is a face you hope to see_

He passed the next few days in a dream. Or rather, a nightmare, which he prayed he would wake from. His friends knew he was hiding something, but they knew better than to pressure him for it. He spent hours comforting her mother, who had cried all her tears for her only daughter.

The whole family stayed together, often locking themselves away, thinking over and regretting every bad thing they had ever said or done to her. Her professors, her other friends from school, all paid a visit, leaving in tears.

The funeral was set for the next week. Arranged by the Ministry, as the family were too upset. To him, everything seemed so formal, so...cold.

The days flew by, until the day of the funeral finally arrived. They were all dressed in black, so formal, so unlike what she would have wanted. He knew why he was dressed so formally. He was going to confess to murder._  
  
You know where you've sent her  
You sure know where you are  
You're trying to ease off  
But you know you won't get far  
And now she's up there  
Sings like an angel  
But you can't hear those words  
And now she's up there  
Sings like an angel  
Unforgivable Sinner  
  
_

The note was taken out, just before the family left, and examined again. It was passed around the friends that had gathered to help the family through. No one had any idea what it meant. They agreed to read it out at the funeral.

They volunteered. Her two closest friends, almost like family. She would sing, and he would then explain, it was agreed, in the memory of their lost sister of sorts.

Her father was grateful. Grateful that they were doing it, and not some strangers. He said it would mean a lot to him.

He had no idea. This would be the worst day of all of their lives.

_  
You've been walking around in tears  
No answers are there to get  
You won't ever be the same  
Someone cries and you're to blame_

The funeral procession slowly made their way to the church. He held her note in his hands, his tears falling and smudging the ink. He didn't care. He knew the words by heart. It had been her favourite song. How could he not? It had been during a dance to the very same song that he had realised just how much he loved her, and she had gone before he had a chance to tell her.

Next to him, a friend put a comforting arm on his. His feet had made their way to the church, and he was being guided to a seat. Near the front, of course. Nothing less for him. Would they treat him the same once they knew what he had done?_  
  
_

_  
Struggling with a fight inside  
Sorrow you'll defeat  
The picture you see it won't disappear  
Not unpleasant dreams or her voice you hear_

The service had started. He felt sick to his stomach as the priest, a Muggle, started to speak about the life of his loved one. He knew nothing of the service, not wanting to listen to an unknowing Muggle babble on about her as if he knew her. He stared at the coffin instead, staring at a wreath, spelling out her name.

_....I.......N........_

"Come on!" hissed a voice from next to him. It was time.

"We were, great friends of her," she said from next to him, struggling to fight back her tears. Her best friend, her confidant, was being buried. Of course she was upset.

"And today, just for her, we'll sing her favourite song." That said, sweet music filled the air, and a sad, emotional tune washed over the congregation. A voice joined the tune, singing with all the sorrow of the moment behind her.__

_  
You know where you've sent her  
You sure know where you are  
You're trying to ease off  
But you know you won't get far  
And now she's up there  
Sings like an angel  
But you can't hear those words  
And now she's up there  
Sings like an angel  
Unforgivable Sinner_

He began to speak before she had finished, now desperate to get his words out. "I have a confession to make to you all. I know why she died. I know why she committed suicide," he rushed, his words tumbling over one another. All eyes were drawn to him. He turned to the girl next to him. "Keep singing. It helps."

With a nod, her voice lifted once more.

"I was dating her. It started off as just fun. I didn't want to commit, but she did. I wanted to finish Hogwarts, get a job. She wanted to settle down. We had a row." The church was silent apart from the music.

_  
  
Maybe one time lost  
But now you're found  
Stand right up before  
You hit the ground  
Maybe one time lost  
But now you're found  
Stand right up before  
You hit the ground - hit the ground  
  
_

"We were at a dance, the night before she, she did it. And, and, and she said, she said she was going away." He bit back his tears. He was going to see this through, no matter what.

"She, she said thank you. She thanked me, for making her happy, before she went." There was no stopping the words now. "I thought she meant away to university, away from home. I didn't know she'd kill herself! I didn't know she wanted to die! And now she's dead, and it's all my fault!"

A stunned silence followed his words. Her mother stared at him in shock. She had no more tears left to cry.

"I killed her! Because I didn't tell her in time! She's dead because she thought no one loved her! And I could have saved her! If only, if only I'd told her in time!" He collapsed in tears, beating the floor with his fists. "It's all my fault! I'm so sorry, I let you all down, and all because I wasn't in time."__

_You know where you've sent her  
You sure know where you are  
You're trying to ease off  
But you know you won't get far  
And now she's up there  
Sings like an angel  
But you can't hear those words  
And now she's up there  
Sings like an angel_

He stood and shakily walked over to her coffin, laying one single rose on it. "I did love you, Ginny. I loved you more than anything, and now you've taken my heart with you." Harry collapsed. "I failed you, I let you all down. Ginny, I love you so much."

_  
Unforgivable Sinner_


End file.
